What it really means growing up? (cont.)

After my last post, I have been thinking more about the idea of growing up and I came up with more, sad and happy ones.

No one is gonna be your BFF but loneliness. They tend to fade away in your life.

I gradually learned not to feel too sad about this over these years. I have had many really good friends. I have called some of them my Best Friend Forever, and it’s an honor for me that they felt the same way back. But. Well, there is always a “but” in this kind of situation. So, we are no longer that close to each other now. Just in case you wonder, nothing happened to us. It was just that our roads “diverged” and we drifted apart. They are still friends and we still have loads and tons to talk about whenever we meet. I just have to acknowledge that our topics are no longer about us in the present tense, but past tense, or present tense you and I.

Growing up, I learned BFFs will one day be just old friends who I am always happy to meet.

Do not accuse others of being selfish. They are just being egoistic, and there is nothing wrong about that. 

Actually, egoism should be categorized as a merit nowadays, to a certain extend. I mean, it is already nice that they are not trying to hurt anyone. There is a Chinese proverb that says, “Harbor no ill intention against others, but never relax vigilance against evil-doers”.

Growing up, I understand more about this quote now. I am not just dealing with classmates now but people who might one day compete for the same job position with me. I still believe that good deed pays back, but I should not always expect and rely on that.

Enough about the sad things being a grown-up. I also noticed something quite cheering.

My parents are now under my control and following my orders, even though it is just sometimes. 

When I graduated from my bachelor’s this summer, I invited my parents to my graduation ceremony in the U.S. and took the chance to explore the west coast. In term of controlling my parents, I mean that in this trip, a long one, I made ALL the decisions, literally. I did the paperwork so that they get their visas. I dealt with routes, flights, hotels, car rentals. It was all me and my parents got nothing to worry but just enjoy. (Well, they still had to endure the long flights to the U.S. from China and back, and they did help me drive those miles, but that shouldn’t count.)

Anyway, we really had a great time and I am just so proud of myself. I proved to them and myself that I can take good care of things.

Growing up can be as hopeless as traffic or pollution in Beijing, but like I said in the last post, I would not wish to travel back in time. Just live in the moment.


Author: Yue Zhang

Graduate student currently studying at University of Westminster, London. For my passion in storytelling, I am adventuring abroad to learn more.

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